I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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