yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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