you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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