He is such a slut. More and more my type.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
