ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
