I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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