Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My dick has a subreddit
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
