you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
