I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize