how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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