dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
