We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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