I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
