aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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