i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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