If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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