The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
