She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
