got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize