woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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