I wannas sexs uuuuu
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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