Dual....:-)
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
