they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
