they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
