i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
