Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
