I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
