There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
