Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
