I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
