i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
