also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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