she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
