So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
