oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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