How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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