bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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