Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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