I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
