It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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