wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
