if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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