Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
