I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
