Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
