I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
