Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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