Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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