So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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