this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
