is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
