Screwed.edu
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
